I’m always searching for new ways to motivate my students, and last week I thought I finally found something. I told my 4th graders that if they were able to follow our behavior expectations (i.e keep class volume to the decibel level of a chainsaw, and limit classroom violence to the Altamont level), I would play music for them. If they were really good, I would raffle off the priviledge to pick what we play.
I haven’t let them pick their own music very often, because I doubt my assistant principal would be thrilled if she popped in to Lil’ Wayne providing the soundtrack to writing class, so I’ve been digging into my own collection. A few days ago, I thought I finally found something my kids enjoyed…until one of them loudly stopped her work, turned towards me, and yelled:
“Mister Brown! What is this boring, stupid, White People music? We’re Black! Put on some Black People music, like Michael Jackson!”
I was playing BB King.
White People music?
Now, the musician in me wanted to stop the class, and turn this into a teachable moment, but we didn’t have time. I think I made some sort of remark about how talking like that to a teacher is disrespectful, and besides…Michael Jackson is clearly a white guy anyway. This, I’ve learned, is one of the only truly effective comebacks when my students are jokingly insulting me.
“Mister Brown! You ugly! You boring! Nobody likes you! You s-s-s-tutter! You got a bald head!” (I don’t, but this is apparently the insult here)
“Oh yeah, Michael Jackson is white!”
“AWW YOU TAKE THAT BAAAAACK!!”
Look at him!
Now, on the surface, this seems like a funny story (or at least it did to me). The more I thought about it though, the more distressed I got. I wasn’t distressed about the attitude towards blues music or anything (can’t argue personal taste)…but it did bring to surface some racial antangonism…even at 10. My students have told me a couple of times that I can’t possibly understand them or really care about them because I’m not Black. Students who do not meet a certain standard of “Blackness” are often ridiculed…we have a Brazilian student, and two others with one white parent, and students sometimes call them “half-breed” as an insult.
I want to be careful here and say that I don’t want to get on any high horse here. If my family lived in NOLA for a few generations, and had the things happen to them that my kid’s families have experienced, some baggage would certainly be understandable. I’m simply reporting what I’ve seen, and calling it sad.
When you look at the above story in that context, it isn’t quite as funny anymore.
This is actually a problem. I think that the most effective coping strategy that I learned was humor. I’ve joked or laughed my way through most of the tragic and exceptionally difficult things in my life. The few times I’ve been unable to find that shred of humor and humanity have been when I’ve been in the most trouble. I’m struggling to find the punchline with this job.
One of the reasons TFA wanted me (and all of their recruits really) was because we’re smart. I look great on paper. High test scores, long record of achievement, heartwarming letter on intent, blah blah blah. Those attributes are great in other professions, but I’m hardly outsmarting anybody or anything right now. My kids don’t care that I could ace the LSAT, or even the Praxis…and neither does anybody else in the building. Force of will, determination and stamina seem to be more desirable (at the moment), than intelligence.
But that intelligence does allow me to overthink what may appear to be a superficially funny story, or to do research about the greater policy implications of my involvement in this area (and then of course, question my role and throw myself into a spiral of self-doubt). Hopefully, it will eventually yield superior lesson plans and engaging activities, but for now, I’m just another outsider with some misplaced idealism…fresh meat.
Maybe thats the joke.
4 Comments
October 25, 2009 at 11:03 am
ah, great piece. really great. the end.
October 25, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Matt Brown-Well written, of course. Dare I say… clever?
Glad to see the blog back in business.
October 26, 2009 at 11:03 pm
“One of the reasons TFA wanted me (and all of their recruits really) was because we’re smart. I look great on paper.”
While TFA definitely wanted you for being smart, that’s only one piece of the puzzle. Don’t forget that they also looked at your perseverance and ability to influence others. These are critical skills in situations like these, and you wouldn’t have been selected if they don’t believe 100% that you’ve got what it takes to use these teachable moments to inspire and educate your students (about more than just reading and writing). So go for it
I love the humor, but don’t underestimate your ability to tackle these things head on.
P.S. Your blog is awesome and infinitely more meaningful than mine. I can’t wait to return to a classroom.
November 1, 2009 at 1:51 pm
It seems to me that even an occasional minor success in your job is actually a HUGE success. You’re amazing for doing what you do.
Thank you for shining a spotlight on the culture of taunts. I wonder where such is learned, and the purposes it might serve. Of course, there’s the inter-personal purposes — the scores against power, a permissable means for expressing comfort and affection, etc. I wonder too if it might possibly be a community’s intuitive innoculative measure for helping disadvantaged children cope with societal and institutional prejudice, dismissal and ridicule.
After centuries of public education, you are still in largely uncharted waters. Thanks so much for sharing your experience, insight and amazing heart.